Welcome to Reaper's Q&A and plenty of T&A Thread!

[Reaper]

I go to the bank to deposit my check and the teller clearly said "Sir have you ever considered getting direct deposit?" I responded, no! So she then said "Sir were you aware that you could have deposited this check using the ATM machine?" So I looked at her and calmly said "Well if everyone had direct deposit or if everyone used the ATM machine, you would not have a job so be happy there are people like myself who still enjoy doing some things the old fashioned way!" I mean WTF, that would be like me begging everyone to follow all the rules and all the laws, I need my job so please continue to think that you can do whatever you like!

[Jerry]

You're an angry elf. You must come from the South Pole.

[Reaper]

Originally Posted by Jerry

You're an angry elf. You must come from the South Pole.

At times I can be an angry elf but Santa's HO, HO, HO's always make me happy again!

[Reaper]

A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home so she puts her lover in the closet not realizing that her son is hiding in there.

The little boy says ''It's dark in here''
The man replies ''Yes, it is''
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together once again.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy,
"How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab
your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy - "$1,000"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like
that... that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again!''

[Reaper]

Health is a huge necessity and so far it has eluded me for the past few weeks. On December 19, 2012 I slipped in the shower and smashed the left side of my head onto the tub sustaining a mild concussion. Just as I started to feel a bit better from the concussion I catch the flu, I haven't worked since December 19, 2012 and it truly messes with a man's physique and fear starts to settle in. The longer a person is away the harder it is to go back but my target date is this upcoming Monday so if all exams come up negative or clear then this coconut head can do something he has yet to do this year (2013) and that is work!

[Reaper]

Everything went well and all exams were negative so I returned to some light duty today and I felt useful again. I was informed of some possible changes once again but at this point I don't care!

[Reaper]

Getting tired of being fucked with I swear, I give the department 12 hours of my life five days a week and they flip on me cause I can not stay an additional three hours daily! I have two boys to help raise myself, I want to be there for my kids so the department pulls all my overtime and says "go stay with your family now" needless to say I had to open up a grievence against them with my union for the way it was done. No respect I give half my day to this department and city and they want more! FUCK THEM!!! I feel better now that I have ranted!

[Reaper]

Recently I reached out to Deb to have a conversation because the though of suicide really crossed my mind. I want to publicly say "THANK YOU DEB FOR YOUR ADVICE!" I had a long talk with my wife and expressed a lot of feelings about what has been taking place on the job. I realize that I have two wonderful son's who I love to death and I could not be so selfish and give in mainly cause it would hurt them and I could never do that. Talking really helped and I just want to say: