Report: Alabama Used Deer Antler Spray Before 2012 National Championship

[Troy]

LOL @ Antlergate. Hell of a name! Nice one, you Adam Vinatieri-hatin' guy, you (I will never understand that, Mike!).

But lettuce beef reality, guise. This deer antler extract is bunk. It will increase a male’s breast tissue before it stimulates any muscle tissue growth. Why it’s banned is beyond me. These professional and collegiate athletes are on probably 17 different drugs so expensive that the average lay-fuck would bash his head in with a biology textbook to understand.

On the topic of the almighty deer antler extract raising IGF-1 levels… dairy does, too. Let's ban whole fat milk for its minimal retinol form of vitamin A! Let's ban people from dosing high levels of Vitamin D3! Herp. Drug testing and scandals and all that kind of shit in sports is just a big PR job. I’d also like to see these fucking morons setting up these rules for performance enhancing drugs demonstrate what compounds and substances improve performance and what can’t.

Celery allegedly aids in the production of adrostenone in men (not to be confused with androsterone). Let’s ban the fuck out of it! Broccoli contains a compounds called indole-3-carbinol and dinndolylmethane that act as an aromatase (enzyme that converts testosterone to estrogen) inhibitor in males and thus increases free circulating testosterone levels and encourages GnRH (gonadotropin-releasing hormone) to release and the leydig cells in a man’s nuts to be signaled, “HEY! WE NEEDA MAKE SOME EFFIN’ TEE!” while the nuts hang lower than Tom Brady’s piss poor face from two weeks ago when the Pats failed to score in the second half against the Ravens.

Hey, yo, guys! Let’s pull out a random supplement and ban the shit out of it because its purported abilities to do this and that! Let’s ban Mucuna Pruriens because that shit is 15% L-dopa and we don’t want our athletes having higher exogenous dopaminergic levels in their system than the other guys out there! Shit, son!

These peeps be hatin’ on the Southern Fried Football Conference of the U S of A ‘cause of these fellers writin’ these here thingymjigs all reckoning shit and such out yonder. Jerry, you mad (if you ever see this beautiful post)? Over the SEC’s dominance, of course? YOU MAD, JERRY?! Yeah, you mad. And that one guy on here (Herschel, I think?), yeah, he’s glad. Insert thumbs up emoticon here. I’m going to go clad myself in a three-week old pit-reekin’ Virginia Tech t-shirt like a boss and make some mornin’ coffee. ATLANTIC COASTAL CONFERENCE FOOTBALL! YEAH! (… Doesn’t sound as good as Southern Fried Football. ) Of course, I have quite a few Cocks t-shirts (hell yes, Robert) that I could bust out today as well. Oh, hell yes.

[Phenomenal TJ]

BOWL BAN!

[SoonerChuck]

Originally Posted by Troy

LOL @ Antlergate. Hell of a name! Nice one, you Adam Vinatieri-hatin' guy, you (I will never understand that, Mike!).

But lettuce beef reality, guise. This deer antler extract is bunk. It will increase a male’s breast tissue before it stimulates any muscle tissue growth. Why it’s banned is beyond me. These professional and collegiate athletes are on probably 17 different drugs so expensive that the average lay-fuck would bash his head in with a biology textbook to understand.

On the topic of the almighty deer antler extract raising IGF-1 levels… dairy does, too. Let's ban whole fat milk for its minimal retinol form of vitamin A! Let's ban people from dosing high levels of Vitamin D3! Herp. Drug testing and scandals and all that kind of shit in sports is just a big PR job. I’d also like to see these fucking morons setting up these rules for performance enhancing drugs demonstrate what compounds and substances improve performance and what can’t.

Celery allegedly aids in the production of adrostenone in men (not to be confused with androsterone). Let’s ban the fuck out of it! Broccoli contains a compounds called indole-3-carbinol and dinndolylmethane that act as an aromatase (enzyme that converts testosterone to estrogen) inhibitor in males and thus increases free circulating testosterone levels and encourages GnRH (gonadotropin-releasing hormone) to release and the leydig cells in a man’s nuts to be signaled, “HEY! WE NEEDA MAKE SOME EFFIN’ TEE!” while the nuts hang lower than Tom Brady’s piss poor face from two weeks ago when the Pats failed to score in the second half against the Ravens.

Hey, yo, guys! Let’s pull out a random supplement and ban the shit out of it because its purported abilities to do this and that! Let’s ban Mucuna Pruriens because that shit is 15% L-dopa and we don’t want our athletes having higher exogenous dopaminergic levels in their system than the other guys out there! Shit, son!

These peeps be hatin’ on the Southern Fried Football Conference of the U S of A ‘cause of these fellers writin’ these here thingymjigs all reckoning shit and such out yonder. Jerry, you mad (if you ever see this beautiful post)? Over the SEC’s dominance, of course? YOU MAD, JERRY?! Yeah, you mad. And that one guy on here (Herschel, I think?), yeah, he’s glad. Insert thumbs up emoticon here. I’m going to go clad myself in a three-week old pit-reekin’ Virginia Tech t-shirt like a boss and make some mornin’ coffee. ATLANTIC COASTAL CONFERENCE FOOTBALL! YEAH! (… Doesn’t sound as good as Southern Fried Football. ) Of course, I have quite a few Cocks t-shirts (hell yes, Robert) that I could bust out today as well. Oh, hell yes.

Rep! Classic